Perfect timing

As of this year, there are no more home visits. They were causing all sorts of problems for the families we were going to see, including jealousy from neighbors and increased rent from landlords who thought that since Americans had come to visit, they had extra money. As wonderful as it was to go see families in their homes, the last thing we wanted was to create additional hardships.

In place of home visits, Children's Hopechest created the concept of "Community Day". On Community day, the parents come to the center so the team can interact with them and get to know them so that their stories can be shared with their sponsor families. I was asked to give a brief talk about parenting, but since Kombolcha is predominately Muslim, and most of the parents are Muslim, to avoid any overt Christian messages. I also felt it would be presumptuous of me to suggest how to parent so tailored my message towards the children about honoring them, and the sacrifices parents make on behalf of their children. Myndi designed a craft that the kids could do with their families which would give us an opportunity to mingle and learn more. Everything was planned out and ready to go.

On our ride to the care point, we stopped for fruit, as we normally do. While we were waiting, we learned that the children would not be at the care point, that only parents would be present. All of us looked at each other and started talking through what we were going to do What was great was that everyone immediately jumped in to rework the morning. I asked for suggestions on how to pivot my message, and got some excellent ideas. We created an entirely new program in the few minutes it took to drive from the fruit stand to the care point.

What we didn't know is that CHDA already had their own plans for how the morning would unfold, and I have to say that it was one of the most moving experiences I've had After introductions, eight parents stood up and discussed their experiences and history and why the care point was important for their child.

One mother described how they'd had a really good family, albeit poor. But the father developed mental issues and life got very difficult. She didn't describe what happened (and purposely said that she wasn't going to discuss it), but started crying when talking about how hard it was to raise children while working. Having her child enrolled in the care point allowed her to receive regular food supplements. She also said that education was very important to her (although she is uneducated) and was grateful that her child, because of sponsorship, had access to what he needed to go to school. She said she would do anything for her children and has already made an untold number of sacrifices to provide for then. Although weepy, her voice and facial expressions exuded strength and perseverance. 

A father described the circumstances with his children. Several years ago, his son passed away. Then, his wife left him, taking their daughter with her. He does not know where she is and how to see her. 

Another mother described her husband as a gangster. Although he was no longer in their lives, his reputation has made it very difficult for her to do simple things, even the ability to rent a house because no one wants to rent to her. The ability to have her son in the program allows her family to receive regular food supplements, medical care, and access to education.

A grandmother told us that when her daughter died, she took in her grandchildren. She was not expecting to raise grandchildren at this stage in her life, but is doing her best to provide for them on a very limited income.

Another father told us how grateful he was for our visits and support. Our visits illustrate to him that there are people who care for them, and knowing that is very helpful during his struggles.

In all, there were eight parents. Each spoke passionately about the sacrifices they make for their children, how much they love their children, how they would do anything for their children. It was incredibly moving. At least one of our team was openly crying. Hearing their stories in such depth was much richer than what we ever got on home visits. I appreciate Children's Hopechest for giving us this opportunity.

After the parents spoke, I gave my schpiel. I tried to relate my experiences as a parent to the things I'd just heard, being careful to not give advice (who am to presume I could do that for a culture I don't know enough about?).

Finally three of the mothers showed their skills. Two of them showed us how to create thread from cotton batten. Another mother showed us how to make a basket. (I asked to buy the basket, which I will be bringing home. I'm not sure yet how I'm going to fit it in my suitcase.)

Tomorrow is another community day, this time at the other care point. We now know what to expect. We'll see if there are any new surprises in store for us in the morning...