Let's Hear it for the Kids (Tom)

Making a trip like this is hard enough for adults, much less a couple of teenagers with their own sleep cycles and routines. Now, let's take a 17-year-old and an 18-year-old, travel half way around the world on a thirteen hour flight, to a country they haven't seen since they were wee ones, add some anxiety over reuniting with birth families, introduce them to a culture, customs, and food they have no memory of, and see what happens.

Well, I'll say these two have been tremendous. Of course, Tamenech is in all of her glory because she love, love, loves Ethiopian food and has been eating it every chance she gets. They both love coffee, and Ethiopian coffee is something special. Ethiopian tea is amazing as well, so that's been a nice treat.

But there have been surprises, twists, and turns which would test the patience and will of the most patient and flexible of people.

One thing with which they've had to adjust relates to the restaurants. In part because of the language differences, and in part to the culture in general, there are times when we order food and don't know what to expect, or get what we specifically asked not to have. Or, because the menus are so foreign to what we're familiar with, we stick to one thing during the time we're at the hotel. For example, we stayed at a lodge for a few days (the one with the hyenas outside the gate). Most of the menu was unrecognizable so Daniel had an egg sandwich for six, maybe seven meals in a row. Tamenech switched between spaghetti with tomato sauce and egg sandwiches. She had tried the Ethiopian dish on the menu and didn't care for it so went back to the basics. One of the breakfast buffets didn't have much that was recognizable, but both jumped in and experimented with a few things they'd never had. We've been introduced to jams and breads and cuts of meat and all sorts of unfamiliar foods. They've never complained and made the best of what had been given to them. We would possibly get some comments after the meal about what they liked, or didn't like, or were even disgusted by, but it was never a complaint, just an observation.

We've also been thrown curve balls related to how events have proceeded. I mentioned in another post how unexpected the lead-up to Daniel's baptism was. In addition, we did not know that when we attended a church service, that we would be asked to speak in front of a congregation. I can't tell you how proud I was of what they said and how they presented themselves. A proud papa and mama! (Speaking for Lori here, but I'm sure she agrees.)

We were certainly not in control of the events going on around us. We had told them that they were going to be ready to roll with the flow, and that they did. During a very emotional visit to several spots in Tamenech's village, both Daniel and Tamenech showed a level of compassion beyond what I had seen in the past. Tamenech, ever concerned about the feelings of others, hugged and consoled the others when they needed support. At one point, Tamenech's grandmother started crying hard. Daniel walked over to her, wrapped his arms around her, and held her. In another instance, Daniel spontaneously started a game of 4x4 soccer with a bunch of the local kids. We didn't get to see it, but there were reportedly about 60 kids there, and Daniel took charge of organizing the event (pretty impressive when he doesn't know the language!)

We've also been exposed to a level of affection that we have never experienced. Many of us already know that Americans' need for personal space is much greater than other cultures. Add to that mix a couple of teenagers who have a very strong sense of their own personal space and the need to maintain it. Now, put them into a culture where there is little or no sense of personal space at all.

You may have seen the video of Tamenech's aunt greeting me, hugging me, and kissing me for what seems to be an eternity; kissing first on one side of the face, then on the other, then on the neck, then back on the face, maybe the neck again. It's quite intense. While we were in Sidama, Tamenech was the particular focus of much of the attention and handled it very well. Daniel, being quite a bit taller than anyone here, had to lean over during these periods of attention, but smiled the entire time and didn't let go, or try to let go, until they were done.

Ethiopians have different ways of doing things, and again, the two have had to adapt to another culture. I won't say a lot, but we'll leave it at "squatty potties" and roadside (literally) bathroom breaks!

During shopping, they have gotten into the custom of haggling. Daniel, in particular, seems quite gifted at it and has gotten some really good deals. Tamenech, as well, as negotiated prices, and has been willing to walk away when it didn't appear she was going to get a good deal. Although the results of the haggle sometimes amount to about fifty cents, it is expected in some places, and they have both embraced it.

A final example is related to their birth stories. We had been told some about their backgrounds and had shared those with them. Since we've been here, we've learned a lot more, some of it conflicting with what we had previously been told. They have accepted the new details about their pasts with grace and agility, asking clarifying questions respectfully and acknowledging the new information. We've said from the start, that their stories are for them to tell, which is why we haven't included such information on our blogs. That being said, Lori and I are both very impressed with how they have responded and interacted with family members who they don't remember.

Daniel and Tamenech came to Ethiopia to learn about their family, history, and culture. They have embraced it, seemed to understand it a lot more, and have been great examples of how to respect the customs and features of another culture. I am so glad they've had this experience and that we got to be a part of it.