Reunions (Tom)

The primary reason we made this trip to Ethiopia was to have Daniel and Tamenech meet their birth families as well as learn the culture and history of their native countries. In order to start the process, we hired a gentleman who we've known for many years to find them. Yonas has helped numerous adoptees find their birth families, so we were excited to learn what he could find.

We sent him all of the information we had and he started his work.

In short time, he had located everyone. Tamenech's family is from Sidama, a territory in the southern part of the country. They live in traditional huts in a  vlllage with no running water or electricity. We knew Tamenech had grandparents and at least one sibling. Yonas reported after a visit that Tamenech's grandfather had passed, along with one brother. Her grandmother was still around, as well as a sister (who had just gotten married in an arranged marriage). 

Daniel's mother had moved to Beirut shortly after he was born, which made it harder for Yonas to track her down. She was living a comfortable life in Lebanon, with a good job and good friends. However, when she learned we were coming to meet her, she filed all of the necessary paperwork to return to Ethiopia. 

We met her (Tina) on Thursday. We were standing in the lobby talking to someone else when she suddenly appeared in the doorway, running directly to Daniel with a huge hug. Daniel towers over her, so although he was returning the hug, it was an awkward position and I'm sure his back was feeling it. I can't imagine the emotions going through her as this tall, muscular, seventeen-year old stood before her. What was she thinking? Did she regret her decision to give him up for adoption? Would she make the same choice again? It must have been the toughest decision she's ever made. 

 

After releasing him, she spent a lot of time just staring him over, I'm sure aghast at how that sickly baby had grown into a healthy, vibrant young man. I felt myself worried about whether she was judging us on anything about him? Was she okay with his hair? The way he dressed? His manners?

We spent the rest of Thursday and most of Friday with Tina. Tina's sister joined us as well, while Tina's brother joined us on Friday while we visited the Unity and Friendship Parks and had hamburgers at what I believe to be the best beef joint in all of the world.

Tina is on What's App and it will be easy for the two to stay connected. We will see her again later in the week.

Today (Saturday), we drove eight hours to southern Ethiopia to meet Tamenech's birth family. The plan was for just Tamenech's grandmother and sister meet us at the hotel, hoping to keep the group small and manageable. (What do they say about the best laid plans?)

When we got to the hotel, not only were Tamenech's grandmother and sister there, but cousins and uncles galore. It was a bit overwhelming, but Tamenech handled it well.

As we got out of the van, Tamenech's grandmother ran over to Lori and threw herself on the ground at her feet, crying and talking (she speaks Sidagami, and the translator was not immediately available). When he finally got to us, he told us she was saying how thankful she was that we brought her back, that she thought she'd never see her again, and what an honor it was. Then, she grabbed Tamenech and gave her the tightest of tight hugs. She's a very small woman, so Tamenech towers over her (I guess we've raised pretty healthy kids!). Then, she came over to me and before I could stop her, she threw herself down at my feet with the same routine. I was a bit embarrassed and did my best to get her up in order to give her a hug. Meanwhile, Tamenech's sister (Consalech, sp?) was also hanging onto Tamenech, crying that she didn't think she'd ever see her again.

 

With both reunions, all of us had tears in our eyes (don't tell him I said this, but I think I even saw Daniel wipe his eyes). I can't fathom how difficult it was for both of these families to make the decision to have a member of their flesh and blood adopted, not knowing if they'd ever see them again. How difficult it is not knowing what your child is up to, how they are growing and developing, where they are. 

Personally, and I'm sure I speak for Lori and our other kids, we are humbled by the sacrifice they made, and are thankful for the joy they have brought to our lives. Our family is stronger because they are part of it, and I will be forever grateful for these families and the gifts they have given us.

I hope we have done them proud.